THIS ONE Takes the Biscuit Big Time! The latest in the Sofa Saga

Sofa Saga - The final Part?

Last night Imelda rang me.
"Just wondering whether you could spare Ian (the bloke) to help me with something next weekend." he said
I asked him what he was up to this time.
"Well, you see, you know I had those blue armchairs given to me a few years ago from the Joneses over the road?"
"Yeeesss Dad."  I said, trying to anticipate what the daft old scroat was going to tell me this time.
"Well the Joneses are moving house you see and they have offered me the matching blue sofa because they don't want to take it with them."
"That's marvelous news Dad - now you can get rid of the green sofa." (the scabby green sofa which has been in his house 50 years or so).
"Yes well anyway," he said evidently dismissing or applying selective deafness to what I had just said. - (no he still hasn't worked out how to use his hearing aid yet). "I want to put it in the bedroom upstairs until there is enough room for it in the living room so I need someone to help me take the old one upstairs."

  W H A T   !!??!!??    

Surely he couldn't have been referring to the same living room and bedroom which I spent my whole summer clearing so he could have space to live and which was on TV being cleared and then all the rubbish came back in and and and ....

 NO  

Foot down time. I said "Dad NO WAY. No way is that EVER going to happen sunshine. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO and NO. Either the old one goes or the new one ain't coming in.  There is no way you are going to put that thing upstairs.  The floorboards will not take it for starters and I am ABSOLUTELY NOT going to try humping that thing upstairs". I was envisaging getting the green sofa through the house and up the stairs which are now re-cluttered again. All the huffing and puffing and swearing.  There is absolutely NO WAY that was ever going to happen.  I had spent ten weeks or so breaking my back, ruining my lungs, sweating my wits off, clearing his bedroom to make it half decent.  Now it is half the junk it was then and he wants to put a scabby sofa in there.
I voiced my opinion.

"Oh NO"! he said as if I had got it all wrong,"I know we won't got the green sofa up the stairs, haha we probably won't even get it out of the lounge at the moment.."
I have not seen the house for about three weeks - heaven only knows what the state of it is at the moment.
Phew - perhaps I has misjudged him or misheard him.  Silly me!
"No" he said "I want to put the BLUE sofa upstairs until there is room to put it in the living room" and then as if by way of an explanation "It will go with the two chairs in the living room".

Call me naive but possibly he had not thought of the obvious.  I thought I should at least suggest it.  "Dad, why don't you just throw the old one out?"
This was obviously something he had not even thought of.  There was a silence.
"Yeeessssss" he said as if considering it as a remote possibility - or at least as if to appear that he was at least thinking about it to humour me. "But that part is neither here nor there at the moment - the point is they want to get rid of it by next weekend."

I think there may be a case for inventing a new phrase "Neighbourocide".
 I wonder if it is legal.

I will update you when my blood pressure drops.

Below are photos of the sofa taken yesterday - TAKE NOTE HE HAS TAKEN THE CUSHIONS OFF!

I have been invited round with an axe :)    I will update further when that happens.