A day away but not a day off.

Sunday 8th August 2013

Day 28

It was exactly 4 weeks ago today the old stick had his unscheduled dismount from the ladder.

So far I have spent almost every day at the mountain.  I have made about 17 trips to the skip with about 100 bags of recycling and rubbish.  I have visited him in hospital every day apart from 5 days when I had either been at his house all day or/and was working.  I have run round to the bank to pay bills and again to get statements, I have run about to the optician and made countless calls to various of his friends and relatives.  I have been to the Church to get his his newsletter. I have had to wear a dust mask all the time I am in his house but even so I still have bad reactions to the dust.  I have friends come and help me and travel some distance to help me out.  I have had to organise and clear a huge three bed detached house which is full to the brim with junk including a full detached garage, shed and coal house.

Bearing in mind I work 4 evenings a week 3-9.30 and have three small children I am totally knackered.  I am also due to start year two in carpentry college tomorrow.

I have had a lot of pressure from the old stick not to throw anything out and a lot of pressure from the social workers to get things sorted so that he can come home.

To date I have had not a word of thanks. 

I have to throw things out - there is nowhere to put things to sort them out otherwise.  He seems to think I can just 'tidy up'. It really appears he is not able to see the mess.

This morning at 8.30 he rang and said he had not been sleeping because he was worried about three things in particular which he was worried I may throw out.  One of these items I know I have not thrown out.  One of the items I think I very likely may have thrown out and the others are letters regarding certain financial issues which should be kept.  I know I have not thrown anything out from the past 3 years of financial stuff.  I have been working through the fact that anything over 6 years old will not be needed for tax purposes or for any other purpose either so they have all gone out.  I don't know.  I do think it is very unfair of him to say that to me four weeks after he knows I started clearing.  

So I have been howling all day with the pressure of it.  I never asked for this situation.  I never contributed to the mess and neither did my poor mother.  My friends have been very supportive and are all, without exception, of the impression I should just tell him either he lets me go and clear it and trusts me enough to decide what has to go out or I leave him in the hospital.

His choice.

I have not been to the mountain today.  I am on strike.  I will be going to work in an hour though for a spot of normalness.

Today is therefore short.  I will be back tomorrow.

xx

How do you chose when you have about a hundred bits like the above, what exactly is junk and what is not.  You are not allowed to make a decision, half the stuff has an inch of dust on top and has been buried for twenty years.  You simply do not have space to keep it all.