Progress, Treasure, Teenage Memories, Shoes, Shoes and - More Shoes.

31st August 2013 - 1st September 2013

A Full Weekend and a Result

My friend Jackie from Swindon came down on Saturday for the whole weekend.  She offered to come and get stuck in.  I accepted and am very, very grateful.

The plan was to clear my old childhood bedroom in order to have a room/space for dad to sleep when he comes home and to put some of the 'to keep' junk in while we clear the rest of the house.

Day 1, we (well Jackie) brought everything down from the room.  She must have gone up and down those damn stairs a hundred times.  More bits of wood, florescent tubes, bulbs, bits of wood, shoes, boxes, old papers, THREE mattresses and a divan base, 12 jumpers, a jacket, 20 pairs of new, blue men's underpants, more shoes, usual tat..  We also found lots of bits of old TV parts - bits which I think were from old style TVs which nobody uses anymore.  These bits were new bits for old TVs.  So no you can't buy these bits any more but - would anyone actually want to?  Everyone I know has the flat screen TVs nowadays. We also found lots and lots more of dads shoes.  Some were summer sandals, some were winter shoes, some were well worn and some were still wrapped and new, most were brown or beige and some were even in pairs.  He would give Imelda Marcos a run for her money for sure. Now there's a nickname for him! :)

Interestingly, bearing in mind this was my bedroom where I grew up, we found bags and bags and bags of Culture Club memorabilia.  Really! Who would have guessed? I had flags, tickets, books, programes, badges, many, many scrap books, cuttings, dolls, a t-shirt.  Did I throw them out?  DID I HECK! I didn't bring them home though, I left them there.  A little bit of my history which meant so much at the time and I can't bear to bin them.  Does this mean I have hoarding tendencies? I sincerely hope not.  I also, worryingly, found a set of black satin sheets (although they are not real satin they are nasty cheap nylon).  I think this was more as the theme of my room was black and white everything with one colour theme at a time, usually to match Boy George's hair of the moment. The black and white spotted curtains were still up as were the white and black spotted gift wrap sheets all over the walls.  I also found my old CB radio - now that could tell a few secrets. 'Ice Cube' was my 'handle' at the time, rather apt I thought.  Also two odd shoes (mine this time) which went straight in the bin along with my old leather cowboy boots, very similar to the pair I have now although totally, totally worn out. 

In a box right at the back I found a HUGE pile of poly pockets full of more new stamps in shillings and old pence.  Sheets and sheets of the things.  I have put these very safe as I think they may be valuable.  I also found a brass thing.  Not sure what it is.  Possibly some form of burner.  When I got home to mine I got out the Brasso and polished half of it for effect.  It is like a small camping stove.

Every box Jackie brought out had memories in it.  We found the old Christmas box and we spent a while reminiscing about childhood Christmases.  The big moment was always when dad got the Christmas box from the attic and all the same old decorations would come out.  It was always traditional in our house.  On Christmas EVE (and not before), Dad would go out and get the tree in from the garden, he would put it in a bucket of damp soil and we would decorate it. On Christmas Day or Boxing Day some neighbours would come over for mince pie and a sherry, the tree lights would be turned on with the carols on the radio and life was good.  As the hoarding got worse the tree was brought in later and later as a space always had to be cleared before it was brought inside.  One year it did not come in until Christmas Day itself, just after lunch and a few years later it was Boxing Day before he got round to digging it up.  After that we never had a tree.  There was no room.

Gradually the house got such a mess the invited neighbours were reduced to a select close few friends and family and eventually nobody came round at Christmas.

 Nobody came round at all.

These days there is no room for a pine needle let alone a tree.  The lights stay up all year round and only get switched on at Christmas.  Deflated and sad looking flaps of latex hang from the lights all year round, once proud and jolly balloons but lost and abandoned now. Nobody caring enough to take them down anymore. The decorations box got buried years ago, only to re-surface this weekend.  Christmas paper from years ago is buried in the piles of junk - used paper he peels off so very carefully to roughly wrap around gifts he will give to my kids the following Christmas (or birthday).  Many gifts he buys for my kids on holiday are lost by the time Christmas comes around. By the time their birthdays come the clothes are too small.

Anyway after a whole day clearing we had definitely broken the back of the mess in the bedroom.  Jackie brought the stuff to me outside and I did the sorting out there where the dust could be blown away.  The mess was horrendous in the garden.  The 'keep me' pile was worryingly bigger than I could really justify but I need to keep somethings back to maintain the illusion that I am not throwing all his stuff out.  However the 'skip' pile was HUGE.  Total five trips to the skip in two cars with the three mattresses and all the recycling stuff from just one bedroom.  I am somewhat concerned that they may just let dad out and he will arrive home one day to see a huge pile of recycling bags in the garden which he will have to check through.  For this reason they all go to the skip instead of waiting for the weekly collection.

We went back to mine at about 7pm, grabbed a pizza from Domino's, showered and headed off to the hospital to visit the old stick.  Jackie told him straight how it was.  Jackie has known my dad since she was four as she lived down the road. Although she is only six months older than me, in his eyes she has attained adult status, whereas I get the feeling I am still a small insignificant child to him.  He will not now or I doubt ever, listen with any conviction to anything I say.  So Jackie told him, for which I am grateful.  She said it all had to go if he was to come home.

Imelda agreed the house was a bit of a mess but appears to be under the impression they should let him out so he can 'sort things out' which, strangely is what he has been saying for the past forty years.  This is despite the fact he has been retired for a fair few years and the fact the mess is getting worse not better.  Obviously he will not be able to lift or carry anything with a broken back, he is referring to the paperwork.  There is indeed a HUGE mountain of paperwork which only he can sort but bear in mind it took him over TEN YEARS to sort out mum's probate after she died (even though I nagged him almost daily about it).  He would tell me that he was 'getting around to it' although year after year went by.  Everyone would tell me I needed to get him to do it. (As if I didn't know and wasn't already doing what I could).  You can't force anybody to do paperwork.  Even though this paperwork was apparently urgent he would still find time to ensure the garden would be immaculately manicured and the vegetables planted, tended and harvested. This was evidently a priority over the probate and the mess.  Eventually, at the ten year mark, I booked an appointment at the probate office and rang him to tell him I was picking him up for the appointment.  Once it was done (which took about an hour) he told me 'I didn't think it would be that simple'.  I could have shot him on the spot.

While Jackie had words with Imelda, I spoke to the nurse, who told me a health assessor would have to come and assess his house and this would probably be done next week.  He has been assessed and now the house needs to be assessed as well.  I will call them during the week.

Day two of the big weekend.  Jackie and I were up, dressed and breakfasted and over at the mountain before 8.30am.  We got straight in and within an hour we had the three mattresses out and on the drive.  One was from my grandfather's flat from his guest bedroom.  My grandfather passed away in about 1979.  This was one of the newer mattresses. The other two were probably horsehair.  Bearing in mind how allergic I am to animal fur and to horses in particular (I was on a ventilator life support machine in 1987 after contact with a horse), this was not a good choice of mattress for my bedroom.  I realised this was my mattress from when I was growing up.  Did he ever realise this and put two and two together I wonder. I wonder this a lot!

By mid day poor Jackie had been up and down those stairs more times that weekend than I had been in the previous twenty years.  The room was now 99% empty.  The feeling was amazing. We opened the window - for the first time in twenty or so years. The bedroom carpet was discovered and hoovered - again for the first time in twenty years.  The hoover is used daily to get rid of the moths..

Some of the stuff had to go back in the room as that was the plan - the room has to be a holding room for 'keeping stuff' while we do the rest of the house.  I found a few of my old staff sweatshirts from when I worked in the ski resorts as a rep in the 80/90's. They went in the bin.  It felt good.

We drove home to mine listening to the Pet Shop Boys 'it's a sin'. 'IN THE BIN' we sang.  The mood was good!  

At 3.30pm Jackie went back to Swindon and I went to work for a rest.