43) I found an interesting thing - Are all Hoarders in denial?

 

This has no date on it but it cost 7D

A bit of a shoe. Knowing him, he kept it in case the leather came in handy.

Alcohol - sealed and very old. I don't really drink so have no idea what to do with it. Apparently you can't pour it down the sink as it's flammable.

Me in my old bedroom - with the insane crazy idea it may be nice to sleep in there again, just once... (not any time soon - obviously!)

Since dad passed away last week, I've been over to the house twice and taken a Freddiefull away each time (Freddie is my Nissan Juke - once he's full, it's time to leave.)

I have unearthed a few interesting things so far and I'm sure there will be more to come.

Today I found a questionnaire/application form which appears to have been given to dad following the incident in 'Diary of a Hoarder's Daughter' when dad fell off a ladder and the TV company got involved to help me clear the house so he would be allowed out of the hospital. It appears somebody thought it may be a good idea to refer him for therapy/counselling.

Dad has filled the form out himself in his own handwriting. The form is a Treatment Plan Details Form. dated and signed by dad on 25th August 2019.

Q: What's brought you here now?  A: The film/TV company people.

Q: Any presenting Issues? What do you hope to achieve from therapy?    A:Proof that my hoarding is not a serious illness but due to other circumstances.

Q: Any other background you'd like to share or think might be relevant to our session... this is a free area, there is no obligation to complete.   

A: There are various reasons some of which are listed below.

1) I am a serious DIY person and have been for over 70 years. This leads to keeping many items which non-practical people would throw away. Almost everything has more than one use.

2) Most people move house a number of times during their lives so have to have a good turn out each time. I have lived in this house for about 59 years!!

3) I made 3 or 4 television sets shortly after the end of the war when TV was expanding. firstly from ex radar parts and then from scratch - this is history, I can't throw them away.

4) My wife started Alzheimer's Disease when she was about 42 and died at 59. I have kept many of her things and a special dress she made. These things bring back memories of her - again I can't throw these away.

5)I have invested in the stock market since I was 18; this generates considerable paper work and share certificates which I find amongst old newspapers. I have to look through these myself as other people helping me clear up might throw them out.

I would like to point out my own theories...

1) DIY is a good hobby to have, however when you can't find your tools because you have not put them back where they belong as it vital in any hobby, buying more because you have mislaid the original and then mislaying the new one etc, does not help clutter levels.

2) Most people also go through their stuff on a regular basis even if they're not moving house and they throw out old, broken stuff and junk so they are not living in a house full of junk.

3) Three or more TV's would easily fit in an attic if they mean that much, unless the attic is already full of other stuff. Nobody would mind just a few tv's although so far we have found 12 and only 3 of which are hand made.

4) I'm not sure which dress - possibly one in a wardrobe which you've not been able to open for 32 years...

5) Paperwork eh? So maybe it would have been a better idea in the first place, to have a filing system that worked - even a filing system at all - rather than putting them on a pile of papers on the floor and putting papers on top and more stuff on top, many many many times and then leaving the pile for 40 years or more to gather dust, thus looking like a pile of discarded newspapers. You find them amongst old newspapers because you put them there in the first place. Other people may well throw them out because no reasonable other person would expect a share certificate to be in the middle of a pile of old newspapers. Why weren't the newspapers thrown out anyway? So finally who is the one who has to sort this HUGE mess out - someone you never trusted to touch anything, never appreciated or respected but someone who WILL do this task. Even if it takes her five years. Furthermore she has to do it all alone - many hours by herself, sorting until midnight and beyond, every night for years - because this can't be explained to anyone who is offering to help for an hour or so.

Denial at its finest - not his problem - not his fault.

Now please excuse me while I go beat up a pillow and go scream in the woods.

Don't worry - I'll be OK.