53) Questions and Answers from people who've never been in the house. And those who have.

We have found the sofa - 8 weeks in. We have space to sort stuff. No judgement please.

As word gets out, people kindly ask how I'm getting along. of course, I tailor my reply to whoever asked the question. Those who know are likely to get a bucketful of stresses all tumbling out. Those who are just being polite, have the somewhat reserved reply - 'slowly'.

It is at this moment the replies separate people from those in the know to those without a clue.

The Clueless

1)  'If it were me, I'd just put the lot put in a skip!' 'Calculate each large skip at £369 each, by about 50, plus the manpower to fill the skips - so far me, Ant and my bestie. Currently a Freddy-full is the result of a day's clearing and it feels cathartic to dump it all at the recycling centre at the end of a long day, then go home shower and rest. 

If there was a skip (dumpster), there'd be pressure to fill it asap, before some neighbour thought it fair game to put their own rubbish in it in the dead of  night. Plus we have to sort EVERY bit of paper, as so far, we have no idea if he had any kind of life insurance, savings, shares, bank accounts, premium bonds, pension etc etc. He seemed to be a man of many secrets.

2)  'Just sell it as it is and walk away.' Just because there is lots of junk in there, this doesn't mean there's not a load of good stuff in there too. Also Ant lives there and has the lifetime right to live there.

3) 'I'd just set a match to it.'    F*** Off you bell end.

4) 'If it was me, I'd clear a room at a time...' (Usually said by a man, mansplaining). Have you ever done those little plastic square puzzles you get at Christmas where, in order to move one square to a different place, you have to move 20 squares to do so? Same principle - you can't clear one room as there's nowhere to put the stuff you take out that you need to keep - there really is nowhere. The only way is to just clear bulk from all rooms at the same time - everything which can go - I estimate over two thirds of it - can go out, this gives room to move other stuff about, gradually allowing space to sort and move.

5) 'It must be so difficult and so emotional going through all your dad's stuff.'   Er emotional yes - in that there are a range of emotions, most of which are disbelief, anger and despair. None of them involve tears of grief and reflection.

And those who've been in the house.

• I just never realised the scale of it.
• F****** H*** (followed by stunned silence)
• I know you said he was a hoarder; but this - is something else.' (followed by a rapid exit).
• 'OOohhh you've got your work cut out for you.'
• 'I'd heard it was bad - but this... I don't know what to say.'
• 'OMG - it's EVERY ROOM.' (yes and the garage, attic, greenhouse, shed and coalhouse).
• 'This is going to take you MONTHS.' (more like years).
• 'But surely it's a fire risk.' (tell me something I don't know).
• 'Did you know it was this bad?' - er yes!
• S I L E N C E (clearly in shock).

I tend to now keep myself to myself, keep my answers to a minimum.  My mates follow my Facebook page, which tells them all they need to know.

OK - time to go back to the house.  Wish me luck xx