The Teeth

August 23rd 2013 - Friday (day 12)

THE TEETH

Today I firstly have to thank my very good friends Anita Walsh and Emma Williams, without whom I would probably still be howling in the garden.  The ladies are pictured above left to right. Anita wearing a particularly glamorous pair of green gloves (probably M and S) and Emma with the foxy yellow marigolds.

Both brave enough to enter the house without full ghostbuster suits, masks and wellies.

Thank you girls very very much. 

I salute you

We started with bringing everything out and putting it on the lawn - the above picture shows ABOUT A QUARTER of the total contents of the kitchen laid all over the lawn.  The girls brought it out and I sorted.  We found a number of unidentifiable bottles of stuff, about 7 pairs of wellies, 8 half pairs of sandals, bits of string, half an old iron, about £60 and 50 Euros in notes just hanging about, jam from 2006, biscuits from 2002, wine (opened in at a guesstimate 1973) - straight down the drain - nice cleaning vinegar, old cereal boxes, milk cartons, about 962 carrier bags, jars, bits of wire, half plugs and so on and so on.

SIXTEEN recycling bags, 3 Huge council green bins and THREE council black wheelie bins later we had hit the quarter way mark.  I was halfway through yet another box when I almost got bitten...by - something wrapped in tissue paper in a plastic bag......

These.............

A pair of my dads falsies - I don't know when from.  Yeuch.  I put them somewhere safe.

Then ten minutes later they had gone.  I checked the dog - not him.  I screamed at the kids - not them.  I then looked at the mountain of bags I had just tied up to be recycled ............... oh hell!

I looked at the green mountain of recycle bags.  No WAY was I going to check through them.  So like a woman possessed I started looking through everything, all the bags and back in the bins already tied up.  Nothing.  Time was a creeping and I had to go to work so I continued clearing stuff...

Then - a breakthrough - a shriek from inside -'Iz we've found a table'!  There was no stopping us we were making waves.

I was outside fishing through stuff when Anita came out with a £20 note which she found folded up lose in a box.  Next Emma came out with two more £20s- wrapped in an envelope.  I found another one wrapped inside a receipt from 1996.  Worrying and it is for this very reason I cannot pass this task to anyone else but me.  Everything no matter how small has to be checked through.

My brother then shrieked.  He'd opened a cupboard not opened since the early 90's and found three tins of tomato soup which had exploded.  I looked for a date on the tin - for my amusement rather than anything else - I couldn;t find a date but - interestingly, although not surprisingly - there was no bar code either.  Antique no less.  They had exploded a LONG time ago and an interesting black slime had formed on them.  Any wildlife and its ancestors who had ever lived on it had long since passed on.  The smell was VILE.

As I was flicking through some more paperwork bound for the bin, I found an unused book of stamps - 24 brand new stamps 2nd class.  Also a bag of £1 coins and a few more notes.

Still no teeth.

SIXTEEN green bags of recycling later, 3 bins and lots more also it started raining and I had to go to work.  We put the stuff back inside and I went.  An hour later I was fumbling in my bag for my work pass and came across - THE TEETH - EEeeeewwww.

More tomorrow.  Thanks for reading.

xx