An AMAZING offer - but will he accept?

11.October 2013

Would anyone like their house cleaned by professionals for free?

Before anybody gets excited I am not offering OK!  The TV people were in touch yesterday.  They think Imelda is a bit of a character and have put the suggestion forward that he just may be open to the possibility of them sending round some professional, trained, de-clutterers/junk clearers to assist with the task of making his home livable.  He will then be able to have his grand-children over for the first time ever where they could have a space to sit and perhaps watch a film or read a book or whatever with their grandad. This of course, would be filmed and I have no doubt Imelda flapping about would make interesting viewing. 

Currently the room looks like this..

From my point of view though, Imelda having his grand-children round would mean a lot as he is their final remaining grand parent.  It would be nice for the kids to keep in touch with the older generation (although I am not sure he is the best ambassador for his age group).  He has a lovely big garden where I used to play when I was small and which would be great for my kids to play in now.  There are trees to climb, lots of places to make dens and get muddy, places to hide and explore.  I have never left them with him while I nipped into town or to a doctors appointment.  When they were young I always preferred to take them with me feeling they would be safer.  I was always worried when they were small that they would pull something over on themselves or find something dangerous to 'play' with.  There was never enough space for them all to fit into the room together.  They have therefore only been to visit their grandad when the sun was shining and they could play in the garden (and when I was there to whip them away when it was time to go).  If the house was clear then they would be able to play outside then go inside for a spot of TV watching or whatever.

 Here are 3 of the 5 TVs in this room, 4 are broken.

I looked into getting some professional help for the house when Imelda was in hospital as the job of de-cluttering his house is so much more than one person can handle.  They charge £40 an hour!  So £40 an hour - for 372 years.... No way am I paying that, not when I have to put up with the abuse I put up with at work for about a quarter of that.  Not sure how they can be trained but apparently they are.  I know junk when I see it, as I suspect, do most people.  The problem we have here though is that Imelda's idea of 'junk' is not the same as my idea of junk.

An old shoe which is so old the sole has disintegrated and it has no partner shoe. I think 'junk', Imelda thinks 'keep it - the leather strap part may be useful for something'.

An old paintbrush stiff and greasy with age, dust and neglect.  I think 'junk'.  Imelda thinks 'it can be cleaned'

An old washing machine which has been in the garden abandoned under a tarpaulin since 2002.  I think 'junk'.  Imelda thinks 'we can keep the plug, and perhaps the drum, and possibly parts from inside..'

I think you get the picture by now.

So, I have put the idea to him to mull over.  I have promised they will not touch his office as this is his very own 'organised chaos' - fair enough I guess it is OK to have a bit of that.  The lounge was suggested as a starting point as at the moment in a 22 foot lounge there is one armchair and a little path leading to it.  Only one person can watch TV at a time.  That is not very sociable is it?  If you are wondering, if ever I need to go and speak to him about anything we have to sit in my car which has only four seats, yet there is more room in there than in his living room. Besides if I go into his living room I feel my axe-murderer tendencies rising to the surface and I suffer from almost uncontrollable urges to say 'What do you want this for? Can I throw it out?'



Imelda thinks it is a 'HUGE ASK'.  It probably is.  However, it will help me an enormous amount as I will have to do it one day.  The six hours a day over four weeks I spent there while he was in hospital barely resulted in enough space to swing a mouse.  I also can't go in and start clearing without the dust mask and suit.  The suit is protection from the dust although it looks like a chemical warfare suit.  The mask is a must when things start moving - I have to be careful and I promise I am not exaggerating here.  When I was 22, I spent three days on a ventilator (life support machine) after an asthma attack and resulting respiratory arrest.  My lungs are now damaged as a result.  So this would help me a huge amount and of course it would make his house a much nicer place to live and to visit.  He may even be able to have the neighbours round for a drink at Christmas again.  All I can see is positives.  However, I do see that it will be a very stressful time for him as he panics when he sees me taking a bag of my own stuff away (my childhood possessions which have recently been unearthed after the clear out).  They will not be able to throw anything away obviously without his OK.  I will be there to oversee it as well.  Worst case scenario they take everything out, he refuses to part with anything and they have to put it all back.  However, if this happens at least it can be replaced tidily and therefore there will be a bit more space as it will not just be placed precariously on top of a million other bits of stuff.

I will drop round tomorrow for an update on his thoughts.