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Imelda - Damsel in distress and Drama Queen.
I arrived at Imelda's house today and noticed that all the black bins from all the other houses were outside in the street awaiting collection by the council. Imelda lives in an area where the council will not take black bags anymore: everything has to be put in huge black wheelie bins and the lid has to be shut. If the lid doesn't shut they will leave the bin where it is. They also have green wheelie bins for garden waste and there are green bags for recycling. The council also supply small brown plastic bins for food waste.
These are the big 3ft wheelie bins supplied for waste.
I pointed out to Imelda that the bin wagon was at the bottom of the street.
He started to get a bit flappy. "Ah, um, I have some waste I need them to take."
I figured this would be interesting and asked if he needed help getting the bin outside. He did not answer, which is not unusual, but hobbled outside to the street where the bin lorry was reversing up the road.
Next, an amazing transformation, Imelda put on his 'Damsel in Distress' act. He hobbled over to the bin man with his best 'my back is broken' walk, which is odd because he can walk straight now. He then put on his very best 'old man' voice and smiled sweetly - amazing transformation - all his frown lines turn to smiles and he can fool anybody (except me that is).
"Would you mind awfully if I gave you a bag of acorns?" he asked the bin man ever so politely. "If you give me a minute I will just go into the garden and get them - it may take a while you see as I have broken my back!" A look of' poor old man despair' swept over his face.
"Ah!" said the bin man, "Don't you worry there Sir, I will get them for you". With a cheery smile he followed Imelda round the back.
About two minutes later the bin man appeared staggering down the path carrying a HUGE black bag full of acorns. Imelda waltzed down the path after him with a huge, smug smile on his face.
Exactly how did Imelda collect the big bag of acorns? I suspect he enlisted the assistance of my brother and I have no doubt he was doing more lifting and clearing than he should have been considering he still has a brace on due to his broken back. Of course I realise that collecting the acorns was a matter of great urgency which of course should have taken priority over clearing the house - obviously they had to be collected in case they should take root and grow into 30 foot oak trees overnight.
Why did he not use the green wheelie bin specifically designed for garden waste? Because it is full of bits of wood for the fire, that's why. Why did he not use the black wheelie bin? He did not use the black wheelie bin because the black wheelie bin is also full of bits of wood for the fire! Do you see a theme emerging here? For the record the small brown food waste bin is also full of - you guessed it - bits of wood for the fire.
So, I hear you ask, where does he put his rubbish for collection? He doesn't appear to have any rubbish for collection. Odd this, as less than a week ago he had a team of clearance men, two cameramen, me and my brother in the house specifically to help clear the mountains of junk he had accumulated over the past thirty or so years. You would have thought he would have had at least a crisp wrapper to dispose of. It would appear not!
Could it possibly be, no surely not, could it be that, hell no, could it, I mean it couldn't - could it? Could it be that now he has more space in his house he is going to accumulate more stuff?
No!
2 comments:
I've been reading your blog the last few weeks, and just wanted to say thank you for writing it. Sometimes when attempting to declutter the house, I visualize the images from blogs such as yours. Or recall the pain, confusion and anger in the words. It helps me clarify what I want.
The bits you've written about your mother...I think you may be right, the hoarding had a part in it. Especially if your father treated her even remotely like he does you. Also, I agree she's looking out for you while you've been dealing with this whole mess.
I doubt a true hoarder will see themselves in blogs such as yours, but those dealing with one will know there are others who understand what they are going through. And some of us who are not hoarders, but tend to keep things "just in case" have some things to think about other than "keep or get rid of this?". Things like "what do I want the kids to remember or be left to deal with?"
Again, thanks for writing.
Thank you JustGail for your comments. It is always good to know other people who I have never met are reading my blog and even better that they are enjoying it. Such comments encourage me to write more.
It is nice to think I am not the only one and my blog is doing some good.
Thanks :)
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