Imelda has bought a laptop! (He didn't want a Tabloid'). He needs a 'Computers for cave-dwellers' course.

A few weeks ago Imelda announced his intention to buy a laptop.  He was quite specific.   He said he definitely did not want one of those "tabloid computer things".

The news was similar to hearing Christopher Columbus announcing he wanted to buy a satnav - wrong centuries - doesn't belong.

Sometimes there are things which are just never meant to be - like me winning the lottery or Imelda tidying his house. (Both of these would be nice should fate wish to intervene). Imelda having a PC though is most definitely a bad idea.

I am a little concerned as to exactly why, after 83 years, he has chosen now to buy his first ever computer.  I am even more concerned that he has no idea how to 'drive' it and that I will have to keep going round there to show him where the on switch is.  I showed him briefly how to switch on and off and made sure he knew to click the little 'x' to make sure each window was closed.  After five attempts of explaining as patiently as I was able that it was the box on the screen he needed to click and no it was not a touchscreen laptop and no he didn't need to punch a hole in the laptop touchpad ~ it required a gentle touch and no it wouldn't work if he glided all his fingers over it ~ it had to be just one finger - and no it didn't matter which finger and no he needed to put the arrow on the little x to close the box and not press the letter 'x' on the keyboard.  He wanted to use it plugged in as this would save the battery.

He was given an email address by his internet provider but it was a long-winded one so I suggested a gmail address.  This took some convincing as he said nobody would be able to contact him.  I pointed out nobody knew his email address anyway as he had never had one so if he set up an easy one now then he could use that one. he wasn't convinced, although I set one up anyway.  He has had to use my email address to date if he needed to receive emails.  I said I could now send them to him.  He said he thought he should phone everybody up to tell them he had a new email address.  I suggested we email them instead but he didn't quite get this concept - he preferred to call them.

After THREE hours painfully sitting in his house sneezing and wheezing he let me shut it down and said he was enrolling on a 'Computers for the terrified' course in the local night school.  What a damn good idea!  I hope he learns something.  I think, perhaps he needs a course called 'computers for cave-dwellers' as perhaps this would more describe his previous exposure to computers.

I only hope he doesn't find this blog - if so I just MIGHT be for a bit of ear bending. - perhaps he will learn a few home truths.

watch this space.