Imelda turned 84 and the book was downloaded 424 times in 2 days.

Imelda has just turned 84 and to celebrate I put the book on a Kindle FREE download promotion for two days.  I was thrilled and amazed that over the two days there was a total of 424 books downloaded through the promotion.  Is that 424 people who know a hoarder or are some just curious?  I don't know but thank you to everyone who downloaded it.

I went to visit Imelda on his birthday just before lunchtime. He has not mellowed with age.

As I got there he came round the side of the house from the garden.
"Hello," he said with a smile.
"Happy Birthday Dad."
"Oh - you remembered!"
"well yes - that is why I am here at 11am on my day off."
"I thought you'd forgotten!"
I gave him his presents and cards from the kids.  He looked pleased.  He read the cards..
"Oh snakey has a name now does he?"
"Dad 'snakey' has always had a name.  His name is 'Trouser'."
"Oh - I thought you called him 'Snakey', anyway give your dad a birthday kiss."
TOTAL YUCK.  He lunged in for a slapper on the chops.  Vile vile vile.  I could feel my skin reddening with antibodies.  I spat silently into the bushes after he turned round.
"Come and see what I've been doing in the garden!" he said and triumphantly led me down to the bottom of his garden.
There, at the bottom of his garden was his pride and joy - his three compartment compost heap - all lovingly tended and surrounded by logs, freshly painted with creosote.  He waffled on about the compost heap and how it had not composted because of the dry summer and how he had had to water it.  He showed me a trench he dug in the garden to channel the rainwater the right way.  He showed me a new shrub he'd planted and he showed me where the fertilizer had burned the grass.

I feigned interest - I learned LONG ago that this is the quickest option.  He walked me around the garden showing me his flowers and shrubs and how much this had grown and that had grown.  He had prepared the garden for winter etc etc.

I then went inside the house as my brother wanted me to see something. The house is back to the state it was in before he fell.  I worked SO HARD at clearing that bogging house. SO very hard to clear it.  SIX WEEKS I spent there virtually killing myself and now it is back to how it was.  It was August 11th 2013 he fell and now - only just over a year later it is just as bad as it ever was.  I had to ask,
"Dad - what are you doing about clearing the house?"
"Well you see we have to take advantage of these dry days in the garden before the winter sets in."
"Dad, nobody can sit on the sofa" - this is the new sofa.  It is now covered in layers of rubbish, boxes and bags. It is not possible to walk through the room.
"We have to clear space for the chimney sweep to come."

Clearly, yet again, the garden takes priority over the house.  How is this ever normal? It's not possible to move in any room in the house. I gave up and went outside.  The whole house smells musty and horrible and I itch when I go inside.

I got in my car.
"So aren't you going to give your Grandad a birthday kiss" he said.
"Dad I gave you a kiss earlier!" I said - my skin was still crawling. 'And you're not my Grandad you daft old git!"
"Well give your dad a birthday kiss then. Don't you like giving your dad a kiss?".  Hell no! Yeuch - no idea why he likes to give me a smacker on the chops.  I've always hated his habit of doing this. A prickly pucker complete with dribble made only slightly better when he has remembered his teeth. Any family or friends who do the cheek kiss twice hug combination thing - this has always confused me and makes me somewhat nervous. Perhaps this is why.
So I braced and went for it.
I came home and had a hot shower.  I am recovering with the help of a glass of Baileys.