Roofers - do I really want hippo sized cowboys on my roof?

What is it about roofers. Three of the four I have had round to establish the location of the leak from my roof have been HUGE.

In short if my roof did not need repairing when they arrived, it would need replacing when they left. It would be similar to dropping a small hippo on a slate roof from outer space. Really, I mean if you are 23 stone, realistically, a roofer would not be on your 'most suitable jobs' list would it?

I know very little about roofs. I know they are better if they are sloping rather than flat. I know they are supposed to keep the water out and I know that local seagulls like to dance on them in cloggs at 4am. (at least that is what it sounds like). That is about the limit of my knowledge on roofs.

So when the roof inside the bedroom leaks when it rains, I can only logically guess the roof is no longer fully waterproof and so I call a roofer.

Nightmare!

Roofer number one comes round and stands in the garden looking at the roof. He tells me he can't see anything wrong with the roof. - Neither can I although if you look inside the house (which he didn't feel was necessary), clearly SOMETHING is amiss. I gave up on him and asked another roofer. The 2nd roofer came round and he went on the roof. He said the flashing from the chimney at the front was missing and he could replace it for £20. I could see this was the case and so I let him replace it. He said if it still leaked then possibly we would need the chimney repointed -' but mind you', he said. 'it would be cheaper to remove the chimney than to repoint it' - cost £2400.

The roof continued to leak. I have been watching one too many episodes of COWBOY BUILDERS and so decided to knock on the door of 2 houses down my street which have new roofs to see if they can recommend a builder. It turned out the 2 houses with new roofs had been done my the same roofer. I called the roofer. he came round. He was, ahem, a large gentleman but he talked the talk and I described the leak. he said he could take off some tiles to have a look but he would need to put scaffolding up and once a few tiles had been removed, if he found something bad then it would obviously be best to fix it while he was there. Worst case scenario - new roof £5000. £5000 for a new roof! We hadn't even established the cause of the leak so I thought a new roof was probably a tad excessive. I had the gut feeling that whatever the cause, this chap would tell me I needed a new roof - anyway and as I was never likely to be able to get on the roof then I would never know any different. He could not be more price specific until he had got on the roof and removed some tiles to see -for which he would need scaffolding... I said I would get back to him.

Next I had a roofer recommended by a friend, she used him as she had seen his van around for years. She said he was 'OK no problems'. I called him. He said he would come round between 3 and five on Tuesday. At 10am on Monday there was a knock on my door. A boy at the door said he was the roofer. I took him round the outside to explain the problem. I thought he was a bit young. He told me he would tell his boss who was in the van. The van was in the street. We both walked over to the van and I saw why the 'boss' had sent the boy. The boss was about 45 stone and appeared either to have been poured or wedged into the transit van in which he sat which was sitting low on the driver's front wheel. My inner voice said to me 'NO WAY are you letting him go on your roof'.

He did not ask to see the leak inside the house. 'Who the hell did that roof?' he asked 'If he'd worked for me he would have been fired on the spot!' He waited for an answer - which I was not going to give him. The roof had held steady for the 6 years since the house was built - it may not have been the neatest roof I ever saw but if it had held for six years, it could not have been that bad. He said he could put in a 'bonding gutter' which is a gutter which runs between two houses usually either with different types of tiles - ie slate and ridged. I have never seen one used on a terraced house. I suggested I thought it MAY be the gutters as it was inside the house directly where the gutters join. He said he would go get the ladders and then go and have a look. He returned 4 hours later with a bit of 'bonding gutter' to show me. he did not go on the roof as he had promised. He mentioned he thought the chimney may need the flashing replacing. He would quote me for it. I asked if it would be cheaper to remove the whole chimney as we do not use it. He said it might be. I pushed him for a rough price for this. He said £200 if he did it while he was up there. (bear in mind the other roofer quoted £2400 for this).

He finally left and 5 days later posted a quote bonding gutter £500 plus VAT, chimney stack re-leading - £300 + VAT and replace gutters and fascias front and back (although it is only leaking at the back) £650 + VAT. All very nice but nobody had actually established what was the problem and how much it would cost to fix the problem.

:( The entire issue was made loads worse because every time a roofer came round to the house, the residing bloke would disappear to the shops for fags or just make himself scarce leaving me on my own at the mercy of whatever.

So I did research on the internet and I posted photos on an online DIY forum. I told everyone and anyone about my roof and asked if anyone could recommend a reliable roofer. People lost interest very quickly. Still I persevered and still the roof leaked.

Then on the school run one day I mentioned it to a fellow parent who said he knew a roofer at his local church. 'A very nice chap' he said. I called the very nice chap who said he would come round 4 days later on the Friday morning. On the Thursday afternoon I had a call from 'im indoors, The roofer had come round and was at our house. I jumped on the bus and asked the bloke to show him the leak inside. 'im indoors said the roofer had looked at the leak inside and was now on the roof singing. !!!!! By the time I got home there was a little man drinking tea in my garden and ladders all over the house. Little man explained what he thought the issue may have been - there was flashing missing from the side of the house - I could see this from the garden. He said it would be best to fix this first as this was the most obvious. if this did not work then the next step was to replace the soakers under the flashing and then if that did not work then we could possibly look at the bonding gutter. He quoted £70.

! He was able to do the job then and there. He was on the roof like a whippet.  The roof has not leaked since.