30) Back in again. The coat the soap and the small black dog that wasn't.

 30).  29.5.26

Here's a lovely photo of Barry Island. I went there for a walk with friends. Walks outside on an empty beach are refreshing and take your mind off things.

Friday 29th May 2026 - The man has been in hospital since Wednesday. I thought it may be nice for him if I went to visit.

I went straight from work to fetch Ant and we headed for the hospital. 

We finally found him. 

'Hello,' I said, moving all his stuff so I could sit on the bedside chair. How're you feeling?'

'Wat! Oh it's you. Where's Ant? Is Ant with you? Where is he?'

Ant pulled up a chair. 

'Ant - is that you? Oh don't sit there I can't see you. Come closer.' The man became irritated. 'You have no idea how exhausting it is having all these visitors all day. It wears me out, it really does.' He sighed deeply. 'The man from church has been in. Oh what's his name?' he flapped his hand in the air to try to remember the name.

'Arthur' I said.

'The man from the church...'

'ARTHUR.' I said

He carried on flapping his hand, faster now. 'What's the damn chap's name? Ant! What's his name from the church?'

'Arthur' said me and Ant simultaneously.

'Arthur!' said the man, as if he'd figured it by himself. 'Yes, Arthur. That's the one. He came in to see me. Lovely man, practically runs the church. Anyway I've given him a list of three things I need. He said he would call you later Izabelle, I said ten o'clock was a good time. Anyway I need, a shaving adapter and... Have you got a pen?'

'I don't need a pen. I can remember...'

'Wat?  Have-you-got-a-pen?' he used his monosyllabic voice.

'I don't need a pen.'

'you don't need a pen... right. I need a shaving adapter...' he clocked the look of total numbness on my face. 'Izabelle, are you listening? I don't know if you're listening. Look why don't you write it down? Go and ask the nurses for a pen.'

'If Arthur is calling me I don't need a pen. Just tell me, dad. I'll remember OK.'

'A shaving adapter and ... a shoehorn.'

'There. Three things - have you got that?'

'That was only two.'

'Wat? Have you written them down - the three things I need.'

At this point my mobile rang, it was my daughter asking when I'd be home.

The man looked at me as I hung up. 'Was that a man about a lovely black doggy?'

I looked at him, confused. 'What dog? What man? what are you talking about?'

He became frustrated, his face contorted and he slammed his fist on the table and spat. 'DAMMIT! Was that about the little black poodle dog we're getting from the dog's home? For Ant - he's going to need a dog when I'm gone dammit.' he slammed his fist on the table again and demanded, 'Was it them?'

'No!' I said, and because I wasn't going to take him giving me that attitude, I asked why he thought they would phone me anyway.

His face turned purple, his fist formed again and I'm sure he would have hit me had I been close enough. 'BECAUSE YOUR MY BLOODY POWER OF ATTORNEY. THAT'S WHY!' His fist hit the bed instead and he pushed the table, tipping his water. He screamed the words with total venom. As he did so, he got a twinge of pain somewhere and grabbed his sides. 'You really have no idea how much it hurts when you make me shout.' 

I refuse to be spoken to like that, told him so and got up and walked out, tears of fury running down my face. I got as far as the nurses station and stopped to wait for Ant. The nurse asked if I was ok and it all came out and, once again, I turned into a blubbery mess. She said she was about to take him his medication. I enquired whether she could perhaps give him extra medication... turns out she wasn't open to bribery.

Ant came running after me like a little puppy, as if I was going to leave without him. I sent him back in but said I needed time to calm down.

After a lovely chat with the nurse I decided I'd have to go back in just in case it was the last time I saw him. As I appeared, the man acted like nothing had happened. 'Ah Izabelle,' he said. My yellow coat needs fixing, it's ripped by the pocket you see and things fall out, so when you have a minute could you take a look at it?'

'We've got to go.' I told him numbly. He reached out for a hug. He didn't get one. 

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*    He knows I can't go in a house where there's a dog. Due to my years living in his disgusting mess as a child, I can't tolerate dust or animals. Highly allergic, not just a sneeze or two. How he thinks I'm going to manage to deal with all the crap in the house when he's gone with a dog living there I don't know. Clearly my health was never his priority.

'