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3.05pm Monday 1st June, I had a phone-call from the hospital, a nurse had called me for dad and passed the phone to him. He sounded extremely distressed and worried. He asked was I on my way in. I said no, I was in work. He said 'Oh hell!'
I asked what was the matter and he said he had been given some extremely bad news but couldn't tell me over the phone. He said it was very, very bad news and he wanted to tell me in person. He said I'd need to come to the hospital as soon as I could, straight from work and he wanted me to bring Ant but I needed to come soon. He said he needed to tell both of us together.
I panicked and called Ant, however he doesn't have a mobile phone as he doesn't understand how to use one. I rang every five minutes until he answered at 3.30. I thought he was having a panic attack when I called him but he said he'd just walked up the hill and was out of breath.
I asked if he wanted a coffee first but he said no. They let me leave work and go early. I drove to get Ant and explained we should prepare for the worst. My head was in a turmoil and I didn't know what to say to Ant, although he was talking ten to the dozen about fifty different things so I didn't have much time to think. We got to the hospital ward about 4:30. I expected to be ushered into a side room, but dad was in the corridor on his way to the bathroom and said 'Ah - I didn't expect to see you for a few hours.'
The nurse came over and told us we weren't supposed to be there as it wasn't visiting hours until 6. Strange! I said I knew about visiting hours but he'd called me and said he'd been given very very bad news and it was urgent we came in very soon... The nurse looked at me confused and asked what news. I didn't know. When dad came back he told the nurse he wanted to tell us the bad news before he went.
Confused looks all around. The nurse asked him what bad news, went where?
He said he'd been told that afternoon by a nurse that he was to be put in a small, dark two bed flat by himself and he would never see his family or house again and he would be dead in two days and that he was going to be taken there in a minute by the nurse. He was very distressed and looked distraught. I felt so sorry for him.
The lovely young nurse with an Irish accent told him kindly he may have misunderstood and he wasn't going anywhere and that he was maybe confused. He didn't think so.
She explained again loudly and firmly, he was staying with them for a while and they weren't sending him anywhere. He seemed to accept this and apologised for misleading me and Ant to coming in. He was really emotional and asked us to have a family hug - which he's NEVER done in his life. He wanted each of us to sit by his side - Ant on his left and me on his right and he held his arms out for us. At first me and Ant kind of went - Er no - it's Ok - er we don't do that. I said 'I'm OK here.' Then sensing it may just be something we needed to do. We both sat each side of him and had a family hug on the hospital bed.
We said we'd have to go as it wasn't visiting hours and he was more relaxed now he realised he'd got it wrong. I think his confusion had something to do with the occupational health nurse mentioning that he couldn't go home until he was better and perhaps he would spend a small amount of time in a local care home until he improved. She may have asked him if he could walk with her to test his mobility. I think possibly he interpreted that as she was taking him away.
Anyway, we both gave him a big hug and told him we loved him. I gave him a kiss on the top of his head and a hug and said I'd see him soon.
I was a little concerned the nurse who dialled the call out to me, heard what he was saying yet did nothing to reassure him. Also the occupational health nurse for not making sure he understood properly.
Although nobody seemed to know anything.
My head is fried.
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