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Here is a photo of a shoe I found in dad's bedroom. The shoe has clearly never been worn as it still has its sale label inside. However, the sole just fell off when I picked it up. It's one of about 80 shoes visible in his house. None of which appear to have a partner.
Tuesday 2nd June 2026.
09.34am another call from the hospital, a nurse dialled and passed him the phone. He said is was SO difficult to get through to me (good). This time, apparently, it was quite urgent and he wanted me to call a lady at the church who'd been visiting him yesterday when he had his delusional episode. Realising he'd been confused, he wanted to ensure she wasn't going to put an article in the church magazine saying he only had days left to live.
About an hour later the nurse rang back - said they were probably going to get dad's stent done tomorrow as an urgency as he couldn't eat at all and so she'd cancel the cataract op. She wanted to know if she could sign the consent form on my behalf. Dad had mentioned a week or so ago that the stent was his only chance and he had to take it, even if it was the end. He hoped we understood what he was saying. We did.
I said I'd call her. He said it had kept him awake all night but he hadn't been able to get anyone to call me. He clarified it didn't have to be done straight away but in the next 2 -3 minutes would be ok. I agreed to call her.
'Love you'. He said and hung up (he never says that).
I rang the church lady, who laughed - she'd been a little concerned as he'd seemed confused, she said she'd never had any intention of putting such a thing in the church newsletter.
10.49am, the hospital rang again, a doctor on the ward, who wanted to know some more background from me. She confirmed he was still somewhat confused and wanted to discuss the DNR and whether it was still our wishes. I said we'd discussed it with dad previously and he agreed it was right. Once your heart stops, it's time to go. It was discussed when we were doing his PoA about 2 years ago.
I reminded the doctor dad had his cataract appointment the next day and even if I had to take him myself then I would, as it was so important to him. I mentioned the appointment was 3 hours and if it wasn't going ahead then we needed to let the clinic know so as not to waste the appointment. The doc said she'd sort it.
At 15:58 I spoke to his church friend, who said when she went in he was on oxygen. Apparently he'd eaten some chicken and mushroom pie (which he shouldn't have been given, but he's an adult etc etc), he'd choked on it and they'd given him oxygen at a high level to begin with and had now reduced it. He was still coughing quite heavily and shivering. She was worried. He was also confused although he appeared to vaguely understand what was happening.
At 22:35 I had another call - from the consultant on duty. Dad had remained confused and still coughing - they feared the chicken had gone into his lungs, which could cause infection, so they'd already started him on antibiotics for that. However, they were concerned he'd become confused again and now wasn't responding to them at all.
I understood he had choked and was now unresponsive, and believing they were explaining the end was near, I was in tears. I asked them to tell me if anything worsened, even if it was middle of the night. Doc said he would.
I rang Ant, explained about the choking, but didn't tell him any more as I needed to deal with it myself first. As Ant is by himself, I didn't want him worrying. I said if I heard anything I'd call him in the morning, He was ok with that.
8.00am the next day I hadn't heard anything so I dubiously called the hospital. 'Ah,' said the nurse. 'yes he's sitting up in bed drinking his coffee and asking when they'll be fitting his stent'.
Great!
He didn't have the stent done as when HD lay down his blood levels dropped
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